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:iconeveresshiawind: More from EveresshiaWind


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January 9, 2013
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"I'd like to bring this to a whole new psychosis."

Sweat pinned itself within the air. The temperature rose with every tug on the rope, those thick knots stressing a tight grip around a pair of frail wrists. The time of day became unknown when a busted eye opened to a room full of old colors. The windows were sheathed with a silver shield--a cheap brand of aluminum foil, and as if it were a mirror, he starred at his crumpled reflection.

"Did you hear me?"

Distance became difficult to judge. One eye swollen, and the other hazy, her body wobbled for an impossible freedom. Her strength weak, she respond:

"Where am I?"

"I don't know."

"What?"

"I--"

He glared.

He stepped while finishing: "Do not know."

"You--"

He kneeled before her. Suddenly, the pale colors of the room blurred. Her breath left her swiftly, and the man starred at her under such propulsion. The swinging ceiling fan chattered. The swinging ceiling fan chattered. It chattered.

A rapid heartbeat tampered with the tension.

"Ask me another question?"

"Why?"

"Is that your question?"

"Is that yours?"

Behind a jerking breath, the standing man squinted his eyes.

"Ask me another."

She struggled for breath under the heavy constriction of the ropes, the backside of the chair bent uncomfortably into her backside.
This is my first shot at a horror short story. I feel like I'm rushing it a bit. Any thoughts? I'll be adding to this file as I go. Please ignore the typos. I haven't proofread it yet
:iconaustori:
Austori Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
People should really comment more on your stuff, but anyways, it feels more thiller than horror to me, but i still like the tension in the story especially the mention of the fan :-D
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:iconeveresshiawind:
EveresshiaWind Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. :) I'm trying out a new style as I go along. (It involves a bit of repetition, as you noticed.) I'm not taking it so extreme though as I did in my last piece. (Which I think you might have read as well.) I'll be finishing this piece tonight, so in the next few days, check back and give me some thoughts if you have the time and energy.

And thanks for mentioning the lack of comments! I'd really like more feedback. You give me enough though, and I highly appreciate that. :) I'll remind myself to give a good look at your gallery later when I get the chance. :)

--Christoph
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